Childlike Worship

Sunday I went to church with my family. I was spending time with my youngest brother that day, and it made more sense for me to go to church with them, then go to mine on the other side of town and try to drive across town to get ten year old J and get to out movie on time. It was a family service, and after the first half, those who wanted to, went out into the local neighborhoods to deliver welcoming boxes inviting people to church. I stayed for the rest of the service with J and four old Mia, while the other half of my family who were at church that day went to deliver the box.

Mia usually goes to Sunday School. Her sensory issues and dysregulated brain typically prevent her from sitting still. But their was no Sunday school this Sunday. And the service was mostly singing and prayer. My heart was so wanting to connect to my creator and focus on worship, but after being Mia's big sister for the last three years, I know to dare not let her out of my sight. She runs. But I wanted to worship. And she and I often pray and worship together. She knows how it goes, and was sandwiched between me and the next pew. So I closed my eyes and lifted my arms, feeling her skinny arms raised directly in front of me. I could feel God smiling on us. Mia, with all the lack in her first 12 months in the care of her MMR bio mom, gets this worship thing. She may forget to ask before she darts out the front door, and she may require way too much redirection. But she knows who her savior is, and how to connect with him. My baby sis can praise God in way I did not learn until I was practically an adult.

It is moments like that with my Jesus and my Mia that I feel so free to worship. And we do! Saturday night I have been going to yet another church, The Vineyard. As I raised my left hand in worship, in my head, I saw the Lord grab it and dance me around as though it were just me and him on a giant ball room floor. And I love how closing my eyes in worship closes out my reality and distractions and connects me to God in my imagination and though my spirit.

I still desire some spiritual gifts I have yet to discover for myself, but I know I am not lacking. God has released me from my second job, and I hardly had time to think before he has filled those 15 hours with more ministry and serving. And most importantly, mentoring and spending much more quality time with my younger siblings.