And on top of a very busy schedule for my day job, there is the demands of ministry as well as a second job. I visited the church I grew up in today, and A sweet little elderly friend of mine asked me today at church how my love life was. I told her I am much too busy for love right now. At least the romantic kind that requires the time of investing in a relationship and spending those after work hours with a special someone. Right now, my after work or after ministry hours often take me to bed time, so I spend them sleeping!
But I am so alive! I LOVE this life I am living. I spent quite some time not being able to say that. I love the struggles I have been though for what they have taught me. I love the fact that I do not have my own children right now, means that I can invest that much more of me into the children I work with and those I mentor. I love that all those years I felt like I was missing out while stuck managing childcare or babysitting while others were having fun, gave me the credibility to tell a foster mom of a toddler tips and tricks for the current stage of development.
I love that a lot of my dreams did not come true, and because of that I live so many better ones! I love the freedom I have in being single and living my life to help other people. I love that I am the one my teenagers text at 2am when they are struggling. I love that I can be the one to tell them (or really anyone) that God thinks they are amazing and he has awesome plans for there future. I love that God has taught me that waiting on him is an essential lesson of life, and that finding peace is usually more important then finding answers. But mostly I love that I can count on my creator to provide and place me exactly where he wants me for this season of life. I now realize that God has equipped me for this season. I am thankful that he has helped me to see that if he gave me a few children, I would touch a few lives, but by not giving me children yet, I am actively connected to the lives of well over 60 kids right now!
At this stage in life I have so much less than what I thought I wanted, but I have so much more then I ever knew I could have. My life looks completely opposite of what I thought it would by this stage in life, and I love it so very much! I count of God changing things as he sees fit. But for now, I am going to continue to praise God for every new sunrise, and that his mercy's are new each morning. I know who I serve and that though my circumstances may change, my Jesus never does!
