Discovering Jesus

I have become a different person in the last 9 months or so. Maybe it has been longer, but it has been at least that long. I try to pinpoint a time and I just get confused because life is busy, and God is doing such a complete transformation in me, it is hard to say when things really have changed and how. But I know I am far from what I used to be.

I know this to be true because I don't talk the same. I don't think the way I used to or act like I once did. I do not even see myself the same way when I look in the mirror. I used to see what I am not, and now I see what I am becoming. I asked God to transform me, and maybe that is exactly what has happened.

This change is a hard one to explain. I have been a Christian as long as I can remember. I was raised in a Christian home and my mom said I was 4 when I prayed with her to ask Jesus into my life. At age 17 along with an arena of other teenagers, I recommitted my life to Christ at an Acquire The Fire youth event. I gave up soap operas and have never been interested in them since. It was a tangible change. I was a good kid, and fear of authority and "doing the Christian thing," kept me from having too much fun in high school. I also have a lot of younger siblings who were watching what I did.

Since high school, discovering Jesus has been such a journey. One that if I realized the cost and sacrifice, I would have just stayed on the pew with most Christians. I set out trying to figure out my faith, and trying to know Jesus. I prayed for faith and wisdom, for understanding and knowledge. I began reading the Bible by the book. I started seeking to know Jesus. And my as I discovered more about Jesus, I wanted to know more and more. It was like a strange addiction. One that I prayed for.

Now, I call Jesus my friend. I call on him first and often, and he responds to my cries. I have thought about the concept of Jesus, a man, my friend, more and more. I think about God, my father. I wish I could see them in my physical life. I would love to just sit and chat with Jesus at Starbucks, or to call God when I am having a problem and drive over to his house and let his big hug make it all better, if only for a moment. O the joy of having them in my life in the physical sense! To have Jesus be my biggest fan, and see God sing over me when I do something right. That would be amazing! And all the girls would be so jealous of my friend, Jesus. If he were here with me in the flesh, I'm sure I would want him for my man. What kind of a girl wouldn't want a man who always did the right thing, would never let you down, was a pro at wiping tears, and always knew what to say?

Yes, I think of Jesus in a whole new way these days. And I love all the The Lord is teaching me. And I desire to be so much closer to him still. I know I still have a long way to go, but I am so glad that he is here with me for this journey. The last 11 years have been great and I know the next will be amazing!