Friends and Faith

Life is good, but I am still waiting on God for a job, and some other things. I'm crafting and sewing all kinds of things as well as spending a lot of "sissy time" as she calls it, with my baby sister Mia. And I am helping two of my friends right now in dealing with broken relationships, and broken hearts. It's reminding me of my broken engagement, and some of the pain has come back to me. I hate it when hearts are broken. It makes me hate sin even more. It can cause such intense pain, and then I begin to question my worth. Women with broken hearts do this too much. And the enemy loves to pick at our weaknesses when we feel vulnerable. My friends complain that men break hearts, and I try to point to our human brokenness and sin.

I need more faith. I am strong and I am not struggling most of the time, but I just need more. I'm like a hungry child that is not satisfied. I hunger for worship and communion with God. Just to welcome his presence. And some pain I thought was long over has been bothering me. But the pain does bring about great growth. I am seeing this first hand and marveling at the greatness of God. I see where I have come in the last few years, and I am so amazed at how I have grown. I look at my friends pain, and I cry with her, but this is turning her to God like never before and allowing us a new closeness from sharing even more experiences.

I was talking to some homeless men at a cold weather shelter that I was praying at Monday tonight, and one man, that was most likely drunk, had mental problems, or both, kept asking that if God loves us so much, why does he let children go hungry in Africa. People go hungry all over the world. My friend said that her children have everything they need, and do not depend on God. Children in Africa usually do not have what they need, but they trust God to provide everything. She said it was all about their eternal soul. Death is gain when you believe. American's are so confused. And I find for myself, it is so much easier to have faith while in Africa. It is so much easier to explain faith to an African than to an American.

I know I need to have faith like my African friends. I know God will come through for me, and he is building a great testimony right now with my life and the way I am living.