It seems a lot of relationships are breaking up right now. Maybe I am just more aware of them since one of them involves my best friend. It is all in my face right now, and reminds me of the pain of my own break up a while ago. As my friend is asking herself what happened, I'm asking that as well. This is not healthy. I buried that horse long ago, and I don't need to dig it up! She is asking herself questions like, am I worthy of love, and I am surprised to be asking myself the same kind of questions.
Then I go on facebook, and knew someone who was engaged, and went to see if they got married yet, only to find no evidence of them being together any longer. It made me want to cry for them. I know he loved her. She waited and put up with him doing the wrong thing, and they were apart for a few years as he went wild and then seemed to come back to truth. According to his facebook pictures, I guess he was just not ready to be the man she needed. My heart breaks for them both. Does he even realize what he lost? Was she not patient enough with him, or perhaps was she too patient?
I'm not a fan of this season. All the hurt. The pain of rejection and dreams killed. The only positive is that this type of great brokenness opens up to great growth in a short amount of time.
Guard your hearts, and do not awaken love before its time, the Bible warns. I'm not sure you really know what you are guarding against til you have experienced love lost. And honestly, the fear of opening yourself up to the potential pain and rejection again is quite a leap. One I'm not sure I am ready to make quite yet.
I want to blame man, but really it goes back to our sinful nature. This is not God's design; that we fall quickly but not permanently in love. Love was never meant to be severed, it should be given freely and without condition. I would love to marry a man a lot like Jesus! Days like these make me long for eternity.
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