Another Year

Another year goes by and I find myself extremely at peace. I'm at peace with my world in a way I was not as 2011 began. I try not to have regrets, and sometimes that means I have to risk great venerability. But I feel like at this time in my life, I have nothing to lose. I suppose there are a few things, but I learned that stewing in the unknown is poison to the emotions. I seek to know what can be known and leave the rest to God.

This past year, I have had many adventures and did many things I thought I would never do. I provided leadership for 3 amazing and exhausting weeks at church camp. I discovered how to really pray in faith and watch my world and that of those I love change. I saw God come through for me. I witnessed the birth of my nephew, who made me an aunt. I have gleaned and passed on marriage and relationship advise, and I actually think I know what I am talking about now. One of my favorite mentors came to me for counsel more than just a few times. I was leader to a lovely group of women all at least 10 years older than me, through a book and Bible study on insecurity and was embraced as leader. I realized a passion for ministering to woman. I have been called and referred to as "pastor" many times, to which I had to question and then finally come to peace with the word referring to me.

God helped me find two different, yet connected ministries working with my favorite kind of youth, and have walked with teens through the good, the bad and the ugly choices they make and need to make. I began some new relationships and let healing cover some expired ones. I realized I need to search my heart and immediately confess any sin I find. Moving on to bigger and better things can be just as exciting as it is terrifying. But I am trusting God and asking that he would bless me with his will. I don't pray far from simply his will that these days. I'm still figuring out my faith, and growing by leaps and bounds makes me see how far I still have to climb. And if there is a man out there for me, I pray he is growing stronger in the ways of the Lord every day.

So what will this year bring? I have some hopes, but not yet evidence of what I wish. But that's ok. God has a history of completely and swiftly changing everything. I've never lived to check anything off a list anyway. I'm always up for a new surprise, twist or challenge. I like taking the leap of faith. A new block of time brings about the opportunity for change. I'm ready to jump!

Happy 2012!