One Year

It has been exactly one year since I had a really serious talk with God about a deep desire of my heart, and I really began hearing from him.  As I was driving, I became very upset and on the verge of tears.  I'm not really sure how it began but I was driving along, really struggling with my position in life, and feeling sorry for myself.  I was calling out to God for some help.  All of the sudden I heard in my head an answer.  It was an answer I was too afraid to hope for.  A hint of what is to come.  Honestly, by this time in life, I was afraid to hope.

But my God is a faithful God.  And I know he does want the best for me.  He gave me a job to focus my energy on and keep me busy for the last year.  And that has lead me to my next endeavor, which is going back to school to work on a masters in ministry.  But I have let go, but not forgotten about my dreams, because I know his are best. Sometimes, we ask for something that he does not want us to have.  Or he asks us to wait, because he has something better for us in the future than what we are asking for.

Many times throughout the last year, God has spoken to me about this situation a few times, and it always encourages me.  He has not given it to me yet, or told me it will happen in x amount of time, though I have a feeling things will change majorly around Christmas.  But through this, I have grown a lot closer to him, and it has been really good.  I have been able to give him just about every desire of mine that I realize I have, and ask him to give me what I need for now.  And I have also had quite a few humbling experiences to help this process along.

So what comes next, I still have no clue.  But I do know that God does, and I have had some great adventures and surprises in the last year.  And I know God loves me, and wants to give me the desires of my heart, if I only seek him above and before my own desires.