Today was a really good day. It was also my birthday. I woke up at the end of a great dream. Babies again. There were two or three. It was confusing and abstract, as dreams can be, but once again, I was holding this precious little newborn, who was mine. As reality set in and the dream ended, I got up and dressed and got ready for the day, enjoying a cup of tea as I put on my make-up. As this 28 year-old face looked back at me, I remembered I'm not a huge fan of the grey hairs especially how they like to stick out horizontally among my dark curls, but other than that, 28 "looks" and feels a lot like 25.
I went shopping for some fabric to make some gifts for a baby shower for the two babies coming soon who will make me an aunt. I love shopping for fabric and dreaming of what I will create. I buy too much and I need some new ideas and fresh inspiration. I have been putting some of the things I make away in my ceder chest, rather than giving it all away. But it makes me feel all domestic, doing what I was made to do. I second my friend Sue, when she said "I was made to be a housewife." Though in my case, the key word being "wife" does not apply to me. Anyway, my morning was blissful.
I had many birthday wishes and over 100 on FB, from friends and family in 6 countries. People were so kind and generous in their posts. I sure felt loved today!
I met my sis for lunch and we had a good time together. It would only have been more enjoyable without my body reminding me how female I was. And I would like to tell Eve no thanks for that one. Anyway, as we were about to leave, I saw an old friend getting food to go, and we chatted for quite a bit. It was great to see her and dream with her a bit. We grew up together, and had not talked in a year. We played dolls together as kids and we both had dreamed together of what it would be like to get married and have lots of babies. Neither of our lives went in that direction. She had a baby the year after we graduated high school, but just got married a few months ago. As we spoke it was notable to me that though our lives have gone dramatically away from our "plan" as children, it remains what we both hope for in our hearts.
Yes, I do still quietly hope to marry and have babies. Thankfully it no longer eats at me, and God has taken care of me. I thought I was over that dream, or at least I tried so hard to surrender it, but the dreams of my subconscious (of being a mother lately), tell me I am not. Perhaps God could still choose to give me back that dream. It's his for now anyway, and I am very thankful for the life I have now being single and working in a job I love.
I got home and thought about taking a relaxing bath, but when I looked at the bathtub, and couldn't remember the last time I cleaned it, I sprayed it down, to scrub out later and wandered into my room. I lost over an hour to laying down with a heating pad. The painkiller was just not enough. I would have been useless to do anything else if I tried. I did try to read, but could not even focus enough to open my book. Thankful this was not a day I had to work, I prayed and asked God to help me finish out my day as wonderfully as it began. Soon I was feeling well enough to get up and begin sewing. I am almost done with the first of two big projects, and I have many other small ones that I am excited to get done tomorrow. I love creating! Sewing has become quite a hobby for me. I'll have to post my creations here, before I gift them.
For dinner, my mom prepared a lovely meal in honor of my birthday, grilled steak and chicken kabobs, with pineapple, onion, zucchini, yellow squash and red peppers, served on a bed of rice. It was amazing. After my mom, my sisters and I went on a nice long power walk, I was showered with gifts from my family, as my baby sister tried to "help" me open them. I am thankful for some new clothes that will be great for work. We had the traditional white cake with cocoa fudge frosting. It was always my favorite as a kid. I have become the one who usually makes the birthday cakes, so it was funny when my mom asked me what I might like and said that she could attempt one of my fancy cakes. I like finding and perfecting new recipes, but I also love the classics!
Today was a great day. I kept forgetting it was my birthday.
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