God's Grace

This year, so far has been a year of blessing.  I cannot believe all that God has begun in me and in my life since I finally surrendered every last bit of my will.  It was quite a fight some days, though my desire always was to surrender, I was in my way.  My dreams are changing, and I know God still will bless me with these desires that remain on my heart, but I trust and believe he has other plans for me in the mean time.

I am truly blown away with all he is blessing me with right now.  I see how quickly time goes by and before I know it, it will be 2012 and I expect the next year will bring about continued growth and blessing.  


As I reflect on the last two years, I am ashamed at how much I fought God and how sorry for myself I felt.  If only I could teach surrender and submitting to Christ.  I will try, but as I found out, understanding something in your head and understanding something in your heart are two different things.  It makes me think of the Pharisees, and a suffering friend who tends to get caught up in rules and forgets about grace.  Religion is full of strict law and punishment.  I think some of us forget that Jesus came to show us a new way, and paid it all in the process.  The most important thing, and really all that matters is that we love the Lord with everything in us, and love and care for others as we care for ourselves.


Yesterday I slept 10 hours (making up for the 6 hour nighs I had most of the week) cleaned and organized most of my room, was blessed by an invitation, and spent some time with my mom and sister.  As I was cleaning, I came across some notes from a few old friends who I really don't remember much of, but the things they wrote about me were such a blessing to rediscover.  I guess I made some kind of impression.  They were mostly from when I was 21 and 22, and included hints of a call to missions and who I was 6 years ago.  It was 4 years ago that I first went to Africa.


Today, I woke up just before my alarm and spent some time praying, waking up slowly.  God left me with thoughts of change and Africa as I was on my way to church.  I imagine they were more like day dreams, but I was delighted and shocked by them at the same time.  Kind of a too good to be true feel kept me smiling as I drove.  When I got to church, I grabbed a few things in my office, and headed to the Youth Room to teach Sunday School.  I walked up the stairs, behind a woman who looked like she was wearing an African suit. My students had yet to arrive, so I went into the Tower Cafe to find more out about the woman in the African attire.  She was the guest speaker for the day on behalf of the United Methodist Women (UMW) as they did the entire service once a year, and this was their day.  I found out that her name is Vicki and she came to talk about a feeding ministry in Sierra Leone to infants that the UMW support.  It was so neat to be able to talk with her and reminds me that God still wants me to remember Africa, more than just when I get a text from David, or send him food money every month.  I got her contact info and she and I will be in touch.   


God is really opening some great doors for me.  As Vicki spoke to the congregation, she said, God opens doors for us all the time, but we have to chose to go through them.  We can miss a lot if we are become captive to our situation, but being open to change, can change your life.  Missions is that way.  One of the last things she said was, "live simply so that others may simply live."


Jeremiah 29:11-13 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.  You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.


The last few weeks have been great, but today, I feel like I am preparing for some exciting change, though I have no idea what is coming.  The last time I felt this kind of excitement, I was with a friend and it was almost three years ago.  We were driving on some highway with the windows down and my hair was dancing in the breeze.  I remember feeling so full with the hope and excitement of what was to come, I couldn't stop smiling.  We were weeks away from a trip to Africa, but I think my excitement came from the fact that I knew God was about to do something huge.  Just like that time, I really did not know what was coming, but God sure moved!  I am thrilled to see the next big thing that is coming up.  Just like the last time, I pray God provides me someone to share in the greatness of this next adventure, because even though circumstances may separate us, I have been so blessed to walk through different seasons in life with great people.  I know that is how God intended it.


Edit
Later Sunday evening I went to 6:25 Alive at church, the message was great.  I had invited a bunch of people to the service via facebook, and I was delighted to realize that an old classmate that I had not seen in almost two years.  I talked with her and met the others with her.  Her friend, ended up locking his keys in his car, so they found me again after the service and I found them a hanger.  After he got the door open, we decided to hang out, and went to Hacienda for some food.  We had an amazing time of fellowship and it was a real blessings to hang out with them.

Monday, my best friend and I went to an open house at her hair salon, and I was really hungry.  I was really excited that they had food, and I got some samples of hair products. We ended up spending the rest of the evening talking at starbucks.