I have come to really enjoy my peaceful Sunday afternoons. After last weeks weekend youth ski retreat, today was mostly a lazy Sunday, and it is the last for some time. My church is starting contemporary worship service on Sunday evenings, 6:25 Alive! next Sunday, and I am excited for that, but I will become much more busy on Sundays. I am starting a small group with some of my girls, which meets before the service. It should be really great, and I am excited to see what will come out of it.
I spent this Sunday baking a little after church, playing citiville, which is becoming addictive, (yikes!) and praying and meditating on Scripture, or at least trying to. On the weekends I often bake or sew and read. I made a chocolate cheesecake, a plain cheesecake, and assisted Ethan in making a spaghetti cake. It looked really cool! I flipped through a Food Network magazine and cooked lunch for myself on Saturday. I love this time to relax and do what I want to do.
This evening, my meditation time turned into prayer and some revelations, I hope were from God. I am really trying to get into this new Bible Study, and meditating on Scripture, but I ended up falling asleep as I was asking for understanding and discernment to these new things I was hearing as to whether or not it was God or my conscience. The study I am in now is called "Discerning the Voice of God." I sure hope I learn well, because I have some big questions and some life changing decisions to make soon. They are all good and positive things, but I do not want to do them just because I want them, I want to be sure it is also what God wants, because I have learned this is vital!
I'm praying and asking God to release me form a few situations I still feel I should pray about. I would really love to cross them off my prayer list, but I'm trusting God for this. I am praying for a few needs and a few wants. I don't have my heart set on anything any longer, I just want clarity and the green light to move forward, to cross some prayers off my list as answered, or to move in a different direction by God's prompting.
I have been challenged to have more faith in one situation I often bring before God. As I was praying I realized I had complete faith in him for most things in my life, but in one area, I have stopped trusting him to come through. My attitude towards this issue has been more like, "God move if you feel like it..." then, "Lord, I know you want the best for me, and I praise you that you are going to come through on this and bless me." The Bish taught me to pray like that, and it charges me up and renews my faith. He showed me what faith God wants and I have seen his faith at work. I miss his wise council. Email is just not the same!
I had a dream a few days ago, I was holding this beautiful, perfect, strong, newborn baby boy. He looked a little like two of my brothers as newborns, only he was even more handsome than my mom's most beautiful baby. He had dark brown hair, big dark eyes and I was absolutely delighted by him. He cuddled me close, and it was love! This was a big deal for two reasons, It was a wonderful start to my day, and I do not usually dream. For more than two years, following a trauma, I have had trouble sleeping, and about 4 or 5 nights a week, I would take melatonin or a prescription medication to help me sleep. But I was usually drowsy all day and hardly ever energized and suffered from dizzy spells on a regular basis, nausea and headaches, though doctors couldn't really explain it, and said I was healthy. I tried not to let it slow me down too much, but I was taking a lot of pain medications to get through my day and going to bed earlier and earlier with little relief, though I mostly was used to this lifestyle by now.
A few weeks ago, after reading the story in Mark about the bleeding woman, and how her faith healed her, I asked God to heal me (duh!). I told him I believe he has the power and I asked him to restore my health to the way it was three years ago. As I was praying I heard him saying, stop taking anything to sleep, so I did. It took self control as I lay awake for hours a few nights, or woke up many times, after finally falling asleep, but now I am sleeping pretty well without any sleep aid, but a prayer every night that I would sleep well and wake up with energy. It has come slowly, but I have been waking with more energy and feeling pretty good. I have not had any dizziness and hardly any of the heavy, foggy feeling in my head, I felt daily. God is doing a work in me, and I have to keep trusting and praying the enemy away! I am about 85% better, and wake up most days praising God for a clear head, though much remains on my mind.
And Africa... I shouldn't even get started on Africa! My David has been sick with Malaria, and I so badly wish I could have taken him to the hospital. Texts and sending money are just not good enough for me. But I just praise God that I get to take some young adults at the end of July. I wish it was Liberia though. It never seems to drift too far away, and I wonder about a trip in the future.
I'm gaining more direction and have a plan. I just am looking for God to let me know weather or not I am on the right track. Maybe I'm really looking for him to tell me I'm all wrong. I kind of got used to hearing that. I so badly need an Eli! I pray for one and that she will show up soon.
Yes, I do believe God is up to something. I love it when he moves in a visible way. Through the good and the bad, I know I am blessed!
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