I'm not sure what I was expecting for this time in my life, but my expectations seem to fall quite short. I was relieved yesterday when I heard a teaching from Beth Moore. She said that God wants to be the one to fill the great void in us which longs for love and affirmation. She used a cup and some coins in an illustration. She said that even if we get some love and affirmation from family members, it hardly even covers the bottom of the cup. Only Christ can fill our cup and keep it full.
This was a bit of a revelation for me because I have always asked for more from God. I so often have felt like I just don't have enough of what I need and the people in my life have fallen so short of meeting such needs. I have at times demanded too much of them and been very let down when my expectations were not met. What a freeing thing it has been to realize this. I wondered if I would always want and never really be satisfied. Only God can completely satisfy me.
And those deep desires of my heart-- most days I believe that God wants them for me too. I still struggle, sometimes more than others, but I know have to believe that I am God's passion, and he wants to bless me like I desire and ask (or sometimes beg) but he wants to teach me something more important first.
I am blessed and I have to remind myself just how much at times. But I really am blessed and I am thankful for Beth Moore and God's reminders of how he desires to be my everything.
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