God's children, the ones who do not have someone to call "mom" and "dad" have really been on my heart and in my head lately. After all, the Bible calls us all orphans, and we are adopted by our heavenly father. However the ones who are waiting to find out what it means to be loved and accepted are never far from my mind.
I feel like I have lived in a season of waiting for a few years! I think that's why I finally did adopt (no pun intended) the verse in Habakkuk, because I have learned that God is not as much concerned with making us wait, as he is with what you do while waiting. God promises that if we seek him, we will not be stuck forever. Things will get better, but we must endure what is in front of us and learn from the pain that often comes.
I could fill pages in my journal if it was in front of me right now. It would be pages of what is happening and how I feel like God is smiling on me. I am happy, and coming out of the valley I thought I may just have to live in. These little things are beginning to happen that give me hope. I know my prayers are being answered and God is moving. It really is a great thing. I love it when God moves quickly and things happen so fast you don't have much time to digest, but you have to trust God and go. Then other times when things happen slowly, and the negative leaves great scars with more than enough time to pick at them. It's just hard.
God is always answering prayers. I know he is more concerned with the state of the heart then the end result, as we tend to be. I'm receiving these blessing lately that blow me away! I feel like a kid at Christmas, but they come a little here and a little there. Spread out nicely. And this vision I have for how I would like things to change seems to be working out! Perhaps (should I even begin to hope) it is what God wants too. I have attempted most days to surrender EVRRYTHING and have asked God to break my heart with the things that break his. These little pieces I need to get to the big picture for my future are happening! I'm being blessed. The best part is that these little pieces are helping me help those in need. God is using me to connect people and help meet the needs of others, in my own state and in Africa. I'll fill the journal I began a week ago before long with all that God is doing, I'm sure!
Monday, September 27, 2010
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Logic?
Through another blog, I was directed to this post. Read it, and then consider the orphan. Consider how we are adopted by our creator. There is a great need in the world, and God wants all of his children to be a part of the solution. What can you do?
Church this morning was all about getting off the pew and serving God in the world, rather than depending on "others" to do the work. After church, I was at the grocery store with my mom and foster baby sister when we ran into one of my mom's friends (from church). She mentioned that two of her three kids were out of the house now at college, and it was so quiet and lonely only having one at home. Then she noticed the baby and said that she heard we were doing the foster thing. She went on to say that she read in the paper this morning that the Heart Gallery, a photo exhibit of children who need a permanent home, is in town. She then said it was so sad so many children in our state need homes and said she wished there was something she could do about it. She and her husband are good parents who now have a lot more space at their big beautiful house, and time on their hands these days. She totally missed the point.
My heart strings are stired often these days when I hear of children in need. I'm not a "bleeding heart mother." I'm not even a mother, but I have had enough of children suffering when we have more than we need. God blesses us so we can bless others. I started reading Reckless Faith, by Beth Guckenberger, who writes of her time serving orphans in Mexico with her husband and family. I picked it up because it had a cute little girl on the cover, mentioned something about orphans and was on sale for 5 bucks. It's sucked me in and reminded me that I'm not satisfied with my life. I can do more.
For very little money, children from our country can be adopted. The Heart Gallery of America Shows children in each state, waiting to have a place to live and someone to call a parent. These kids are on my heart. I pray for them, and about what I can do to help more. One such child, I already call my little sister, but I will do whatever else I can to get the word out. I remember Katie, a teenager whom I felt drawn to a year ago when I was looking on the Heart Gallery. I'll do my part to change my world. And one day, hopefully not so far off, I'll adopt a few of these kids.
Church this morning was all about getting off the pew and serving God in the world, rather than depending on "others" to do the work. After church, I was at the grocery store with my mom and foster baby sister when we ran into one of my mom's friends (from church). She mentioned that two of her three kids were out of the house now at college, and it was so quiet and lonely only having one at home. Then she noticed the baby and said that she heard we were doing the foster thing. She went on to say that she read in the paper this morning that the Heart Gallery, a photo exhibit of children who need a permanent home, is in town. She then said it was so sad so many children in our state need homes and said she wished there was something she could do about it. She and her husband are good parents who now have a lot more space at their big beautiful house, and time on their hands these days. She totally missed the point.
My heart strings are stired often these days when I hear of children in need. I'm not a "bleeding heart mother." I'm not even a mother, but I have had enough of children suffering when we have more than we need. God blesses us so we can bless others. I started reading Reckless Faith, by Beth Guckenberger, who writes of her time serving orphans in Mexico with her husband and family. I picked it up because it had a cute little girl on the cover, mentioned something about orphans and was on sale for 5 bucks. It's sucked me in and reminded me that I'm not satisfied with my life. I can do more.
For very little money, children from our country can be adopted. The Heart Gallery of America Shows children in each state, waiting to have a place to live and someone to call a parent. These kids are on my heart. I pray for them, and about what I can do to help more. One such child, I already call my little sister, but I will do whatever else I can to get the word out. I remember Katie, a teenager whom I felt drawn to a year ago when I was looking on the Heart Gallery. I'll do my part to change my world. And one day, hopefully not so far off, I'll adopt a few of these kids.
Monday, September 13, 2010
Joy
I think I'm happy. I don't remember the last time I was, but I know it's been awhile because the feeling was so strangely and vaguely familiar, it took me a few moments to recognize it. But I think that's what it is. I was driving home from a very full day when it hit me.
Sunday I was up and out by 8:30am, driving to Monson Community UMC, where our Kenyan mission team was aging to share a little before the Bishop preached. It is also the church that my best friend's father is the pastor of. I hadn't been there in years. It was a good morning, and Pastor Tim is totally being used by God in that appointment. It was the best small church experience I have had yet. The Bishop preached a very powerful sermon on the power of our tongue. If we speak carelessly, the enemy can use our words against us. We must be careful what we say, and not to speak ill into existence. We need to speak truth and avoid negative talk. It makes me think of how my friend used to pray for a "hard life." At the time I was like, "what are you thinking!" Life is hard enough without asking for trouble. He has had a really hard time the last two years, and although God has grown him a lot, I doubt he will ever pray for that again. I feel like he was inviting the enemy in and asking him to mess things up. What he thought he was asking was to have meaning in life, and not to just sail along. Yikes! Words are very powerful! Only God can renew and restore the mess that came my friends way. And He is.
The Bishop went on to say, "If God would give his only son for us, he will not withhold from us." He encouraged us to speak positively, and "see things through the eyes of God." He continued with a challenge when he added, "You will never live a positive life with a negative mind." He challenged us to weigh our thoughts before speaking them and encouraged us to be quiet, saying that it is not expensive to keep your mouth closed. Do not even breathe negative thoughts, or the enemy will use it against you. He concluded the sermon by saying, "Valleys will come, but they are not our destiny." Thank You Bishop Owino!
I think it may have been when he mentioned that valleys are not God's destiny for us, that I realized that I am starting to crawl out of the valley I have lived in for the last year and a half. It was a great morning service and maybe that was when the joy started to return.
Following the second service, we, the Kenya team, plus Karen and her family went out to eat. I had a really great time, and I stayed there hours chatting with a few after most of the people left. Then, I drove over to my best friend Jessi's house for a party. We ate cheese, drank wine, looked at candles and laughed a lot! After the party broke up, another friend and I stayed at Jessi's and talked til almost midnight. It was after dropping my friend off at her house, and heading home myself that I realized I was happy. I had a good day among so many average days at best.
Last week, God really answered some prayers. He gave me a "yes, but not right now" kind of answer, but I am thankful for that. At least he is speaking to me. And by now, I know how to wait. He tells me he has the best for me, and I'll only receive it in the fullest form if I trust and obey him. And I have some things in the works for the future too. I'm praying about a lot right now, and have a lot of hope. God is moving in my life, and I am welcoming any intervening he would like to do. I totally trust him... With everything.
I am speaking blessings over this week, and this month and this year, and I'm expecting them! "But we are hoping for something we do not have yet, and we are waiting for it patiently." Romans 8:25
This is a good week. I can already tell. :)
Laura
Sunday I was up and out by 8:30am, driving to Monson Community UMC, where our Kenyan mission team was aging to share a little before the Bishop preached. It is also the church that my best friend's father is the pastor of. I hadn't been there in years. It was a good morning, and Pastor Tim is totally being used by God in that appointment. It was the best small church experience I have had yet. The Bishop preached a very powerful sermon on the power of our tongue. If we speak carelessly, the enemy can use our words against us. We must be careful what we say, and not to speak ill into existence. We need to speak truth and avoid negative talk. It makes me think of how my friend used to pray for a "hard life." At the time I was like, "what are you thinking!" Life is hard enough without asking for trouble. He has had a really hard time the last two years, and although God has grown him a lot, I doubt he will ever pray for that again. I feel like he was inviting the enemy in and asking him to mess things up. What he thought he was asking was to have meaning in life, and not to just sail along. Yikes! Words are very powerful! Only God can renew and restore the mess that came my friends way. And He is.
The Bishop went on to say, "If God would give his only son for us, he will not withhold from us." He encouraged us to speak positively, and "see things through the eyes of God." He continued with a challenge when he added, "You will never live a positive life with a negative mind." He challenged us to weigh our thoughts before speaking them and encouraged us to be quiet, saying that it is not expensive to keep your mouth closed. Do not even breathe negative thoughts, or the enemy will use it against you. He concluded the sermon by saying, "Valleys will come, but they are not our destiny." Thank You Bishop Owino!
I think it may have been when he mentioned that valleys are not God's destiny for us, that I realized that I am starting to crawl out of the valley I have lived in for the last year and a half. It was a great morning service and maybe that was when the joy started to return.
Following the second service, we, the Kenya team, plus Karen and her family went out to eat. I had a really great time, and I stayed there hours chatting with a few after most of the people left. Then, I drove over to my best friend Jessi's house for a party. We ate cheese, drank wine, looked at candles and laughed a lot! After the party broke up, another friend and I stayed at Jessi's and talked til almost midnight. It was after dropping my friend off at her house, and heading home myself that I realized I was happy. I had a good day among so many average days at best.
Last week, God really answered some prayers. He gave me a "yes, but not right now" kind of answer, but I am thankful for that. At least he is speaking to me. And by now, I know how to wait. He tells me he has the best for me, and I'll only receive it in the fullest form if I trust and obey him. And I have some things in the works for the future too. I'm praying about a lot right now, and have a lot of hope. God is moving in my life, and I am welcoming any intervening he would like to do. I totally trust him... With everything.
I am speaking blessings over this week, and this month and this year, and I'm expecting them! "But we are hoping for something we do not have yet, and we are waiting for it patiently." Romans 8:25
This is a good week. I can already tell. :)
Laura
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Creating and Baking
Though I still have yet to find a job, I never seem to have any trouble filling my time. My sister is amazed at how I fill my days and she is still adjusting to working full-time at the job she has had a few years and being a new wife. The Bishop who has been in town from Kenya, told one of my friends, that I should just get married. If only it were that easy! To that I'm sure he would say "I'm trusting God for a husband for you, Laura." I often enjoy being domestic and though it was something I have hardly considered, I think I could enjoy being a stay-at-home wife. This comes after spending a weekend with my brother and sister-in-law, who told me about their friend who is a stay-at-home wife. After getting over the 1950's stigma, it think it could be fun.
Yesterday morning I got up and went for a run. I talk with God as I run and it keeps me going strong. I have been exercising more and it really helps me sleep. I dream most nights these days too, (without meds) which is a big deal for me. When I got back I got on the computer, checked email and checked on jobs. After a shower, I finished the last few chapters of a book, then returned it and 4 others that I read back to the Library. I then ran to the store to get my brother a birthday present (a digital camera that was on clearance) and was back to make chocolate chip cookies and wrap a few birthday gifts before my brothers got off the bus. Then I helped with the kids until we went out to celebrate Ethan's 10th birthday with my family at the Olive Garden.
Today I felt really domestic. I got up before my alarm and spent some time reading my devotions and the Bible, sipping tea. I watched the baby in the morning and boy was she busy! Little "Mia Maria," as my mom has been calling her, is one of the busiest babies I have ever watched, (which has got to include about 1000 babies by now) and we think she may have ADHD. It's quite probable since we have been told her birth mother may have used drugs during pregnancy. Anyway, while she was napping, I searched for jobs, emailed a contact, made my sisters husband a mocha mouse birthday cake that my sister picked up after work, and made a Ball Baby Overall, Mei Tai baby carrier for Mimi. She didn't sleep that long, but she did through most of my productiveness. I have read that babywearing is a really good way for adopted/foster babies to bond, so I thought I would attempt to make one for my mom to use with Mimi, to keep her safe and my mom (or I) can get more done without the "help" of a very busy 21 month old.
I was working on the carrier and the cake at the same time. They both turned out well. I was told the cake tasted great too. :) The baby carrier looks really nice.
It was kind of a simple pattern, which I found online for free, but I was hesitant to make it since I have never made anything like it before. I started warming up to it a few weeks ago by sewing some baby bibs for Mimi, using an old bib my Grandma made for my little brother 22 years ago, as a pattern. Anyway, after I finished the baby carrier, I went online to see how to wear it. There are many ways to tie a Mei Tai, and they say it is one of the most comfortable, versatile carriers. The Asian inspired carrier is a basic square with four very long straps on the corners, which can be used from birth to age 3 or 4. I didn't realize any of this til I already made it and I discovered the same Ball Baby Overall I had just made sells online for 90 to 100 dollars! I shopped around for the fabric, because I needed to use thick, cotton home deco fabric, but I ended up spending about 13 dollars on cute paisley fabric with brown towns, pink, yellow and green and the thread at Walmart. I could have spent around 30 on the fabric, but I can't imagine any more or their would be no point to making it myself! It did take a few hours to sew, but I was amazed at how much money I saved by doing it myself. Now I really do sound like a stay-at-home wife/mother! So when my friends have babies, baby carriers and bibs may become the gift!
These are the things keeping me busy lately. Since I don't have money coming in, I can't shop or go out for coffee often like I usually would with my extra time, so this unemployed period is awakening my creativeness with a sewing machine and with baking. I have also been reading a whole lot more, and really am thrusting for more literature. Just because I'm not in school anymore does not mean I am going to stop learning. I'm enjoying this cooler weather and am so happy it's apple season! I made a HUGE pot of some amazing applesauce and an apple pie the other night with 2 dollars worth of drop apples from a local farmer. That was 2 dollars well spent! There is little better than eating farm fresh crunchy apples in the fall while reading a book.
I'm starting to sound like I belong in a Little House on the Prairie book, so maybe I should stop. But I am trying to make the best of this time in my life. God is really talking to me lately, and though I am not where I would like to be, he keeps asking me to trust him. He is answering some of my big questions and making me think twice about where I think want to go next. I would like it to be elsewhere, but I think my ministry for the moment is to my family. I know I need to be here now. So I am making the most of it, and my family has been enjoying some tasty creations. I am able to live rent free, and my parents get help with the younger 4 kids. I guess that's what you call family. And thanks to the Internet, I have not only learned to sew baby carriers, but learned to sew hair flowers, and made one to match the orange in my brown and orange African dress, which I will wear this Sunday to speak at another church about Kenya. Creativity is seeping out of me.
Life is not so bad. I think my joy is beginning to return. That makes me happy.
Laura
Yesterday morning I got up and went for a run. I talk with God as I run and it keeps me going strong. I have been exercising more and it really helps me sleep. I dream most nights these days too, (without meds) which is a big deal for me. When I got back I got on the computer, checked email and checked on jobs. After a shower, I finished the last few chapters of a book, then returned it and 4 others that I read back to the Library. I then ran to the store to get my brother a birthday present (a digital camera that was on clearance) and was back to make chocolate chip cookies and wrap a few birthday gifts before my brothers got off the bus. Then I helped with the kids until we went out to celebrate Ethan's 10th birthday with my family at the Olive Garden.
Today I felt really domestic. I got up before my alarm and spent some time reading my devotions and the Bible, sipping tea. I watched the baby in the morning and boy was she busy! Little "Mia Maria," as my mom has been calling her, is one of the busiest babies I have ever watched, (which has got to include about 1000 babies by now) and we think she may have ADHD. It's quite probable since we have been told her birth mother may have used drugs during pregnancy. Anyway, while she was napping, I searched for jobs, emailed a contact, made my sisters husband a mocha mouse birthday cake that my sister picked up after work, and made a Ball Baby Overall, Mei Tai baby carrier for Mimi. She didn't sleep that long, but she did through most of my productiveness. I have read that babywearing is a really good way for adopted/foster babies to bond, so I thought I would attempt to make one for my mom to use with Mimi, to keep her safe and my mom (or I) can get more done without the "help" of a very busy 21 month old.
I was working on the carrier and the cake at the same time. They both turned out well. I was told the cake tasted great too. :) The baby carrier looks really nice.
It was kind of a simple pattern, which I found online for free, but I was hesitant to make it since I have never made anything like it before. I started warming up to it a few weeks ago by sewing some baby bibs for Mimi, using an old bib my Grandma made for my little brother 22 years ago, as a pattern. Anyway, after I finished the baby carrier, I went online to see how to wear it. There are many ways to tie a Mei Tai, and they say it is one of the most comfortable, versatile carriers. The Asian inspired carrier is a basic square with four very long straps on the corners, which can be used from birth to age 3 or 4. I didn't realize any of this til I already made it and I discovered the same Ball Baby Overall I had just made sells online for 90 to 100 dollars! I shopped around for the fabric, because I needed to use thick, cotton home deco fabric, but I ended up spending about 13 dollars on cute paisley fabric with brown towns, pink, yellow and green and the thread at Walmart. I could have spent around 30 on the fabric, but I can't imagine any more or their would be no point to making it myself! It did take a few hours to sew, but I was amazed at how much money I saved by doing it myself. Now I really do sound like a stay-at-home wife/mother! So when my friends have babies, baby carriers and bibs may become the gift!
These are the things keeping me busy lately. Since I don't have money coming in, I can't shop or go out for coffee often like I usually would with my extra time, so this unemployed period is awakening my creativeness with a sewing machine and with baking. I have also been reading a whole lot more, and really am thrusting for more literature. Just because I'm not in school anymore does not mean I am going to stop learning. I'm enjoying this cooler weather and am so happy it's apple season! I made a HUGE pot of some amazing applesauce and an apple pie the other night with 2 dollars worth of drop apples from a local farmer. That was 2 dollars well spent! There is little better than eating farm fresh crunchy apples in the fall while reading a book.
I'm starting to sound like I belong in a Little House on the Prairie book, so maybe I should stop. But I am trying to make the best of this time in my life. God is really talking to me lately, and though I am not where I would like to be, he keeps asking me to trust him. He is answering some of my big questions and making me think twice about where I think want to go next. I would like it to be elsewhere, but I think my ministry for the moment is to my family. I know I need to be here now. So I am making the most of it, and my family has been enjoying some tasty creations. I am able to live rent free, and my parents get help with the younger 4 kids. I guess that's what you call family. And thanks to the Internet, I have not only learned to sew baby carriers, but learned to sew hair flowers, and made one to match the orange in my brown and orange African dress, which I will wear this Sunday to speak at another church about Kenya. Creativity is seeping out of me.
Life is not so bad. I think my joy is beginning to return. That makes me happy.
Laura
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